Thursday, May 04, 2006

That new tan smell …

Ok people, what is up with that fake tan smell? First let me say that I am extremely pale. I’m paler than pale, I’m almost see-through. Really. And sitting in the sun hardly helps unless I get enough freckles that they bond together and form a weird blotchy dark mess that sort of looks like a tan.

So, this morning after my shower I decide that it is time to begin the tan-in-a-can ritual that I give in to every summer. So I try this new Jergens formula that is supposed to help you get a tan gradually. It claims to have a low-odor- yeah right – low-odor my a**.. So I smother myself in it – because sandals, capri-pants and sleeveless shirts weather is around the corner.

As I write this I can smell it. I am sitting in my office and I am marinating in the stuff like a pork chop on its way to the barbeque. I stink, literally. A few minutes ago I tried to “wipe” it off with a rough piece of wet bathroom paper towel. It didn’t help – all that did was make me stinky and wet. I have to go into a meeting in a few minutes and I am panicking. THEY are going to smell it. That ripe smell of chemical baking skin. Why?? Why do I succumb to this every year? Why didn’t I learn last year? WHY CAN”T THEY MAKE A PRODUCT WITHOUT THE TELL-TALE SMELL??? WHY???

Sorry for yelling. I am off to my meeting …

5 comments:

Doris Clark said...

OMG! You are too funny! I don't know what else to say 'cause I am laughing too much!

I am sure the smell is amplified in your mind/nose. If someone says anything, blame the guy next to you for breaking wind!

Keep smilin!

Frances said...

lol! I once used an IODINE bath to give myself a tan... can you imagine! ~ Fran

Lorraine - Saskatoon said...

hahahahah I am laughing my head NOT at you but with you I am the same I am so pale my friends dad used to call me Geko hahahahah and I used to live in South Africa in a city right on the beach......I get burnt in the car on the way to work if the sun is shining on me

I have given up on the tan even the fake tan I hate turning orange and being stinky ahahahah

Pale is good:))

Colleen said...

You are sooooo right!! I've tried alot of them - and they all have some kind of STINK!! I actually think the smell is like burning skin or something...LOL! I love being tan - just makes me feel better. Just because we are going to FLA in a little over a week - I am going to the tanning bed...I know soooo bad - but I can't go down there white.

M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

I have that same product - and I can't stand the smell!!! I've figured out a trick though. When I want to use it I put it on as soon as I get up in the morning. Then I wait about 15 minutes and take my shower. It's wayyyyyyy better that way and you still get the benefit of the tanning stuff.